🤍 @biancabellamont
Bianca Bellamont
“Day four. Conditions unchanged.”
Documenting an ongoing situation Monaco · Paris · Gstaad Remaining strong
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Cast
Who they are
Bianca Bellamont, 33, has inherited a great deal of money and lives in a state of continuous, meticulously documented emergency about things that are not emergencies.
The crises are ongoing and numbered by day. The Monaco apartment's peonies arrived in the wrong white. The Gulfstream was unavailable and she was placed on a Falcon. The Paris suite has one dressing room. The second-choice driver arrived in the first-choice Maybach, which she describes as a category error. A restaurant could not source Japanese strawberries and offered her Spanish ones without warning her first.
She posts each of these in the register of a survival documentary: day counts, conditions, morale, supplies, an assessment of whether the situation is improving. "Day 2 without my primary SA. Remaining strong."
The company
The primary SA
Absent, day 2
Her sales associate, unavailable for reasons never given. Never named, never shown, never criticised — she is careful to say the replacement is perfectly competent, and means it.
The peonies
The ongoing situation
The wrong white. Day count continuing. Nobody is blamed; they simply arrived wrong, as though of their own volition. The longest-running crisis in the account.
The second-choice driver
A category error
Arrived in the first-choice car. She does not know who to raise it with and has raised it with nobody. Never shown, never named, never at fault.
The Falcon
The substitution
Provided when the Gulfstream was unavailable. She is not complaining. She is documenting. No tail number and no operator has ever been named.
Bianca Bellamont is not a real person.
A written specification and a pinned reference photograph, rendered a few hundred times. Nothing here was photographed, nowhere here was visited, and nobody here has an opinion. Every line is a joke that someone wrote.